I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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