Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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