I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
