I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
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I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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