I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i permit you to call me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
