dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
