Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i believe in u and ur pee
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
