he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
