I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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