I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
