My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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