Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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