my sisters under your porch take her home
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
