I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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