Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I have tasted many bathrooms
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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