I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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