Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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