can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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