at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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