honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
