I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize