im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
