she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
