i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
