A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't turn off my feet"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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