dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We are all done wearing pants today
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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