genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
