You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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