I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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