Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
where am i from again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
