ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize