Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
