i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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