it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
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New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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