if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
