I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Be still, my beating vagina.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize