just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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