actually, I'm a sock model
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
