i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize