I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
