We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
