so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
