I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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