Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we made out on top of his cat.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
