Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
