found the other keg... it's in the tree
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize