physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
