The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She told me I should be a condom model.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
