If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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