there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
