Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
