I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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