Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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