That reminds me...we need to get swords
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
