Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
