bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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