____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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