if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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