This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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