i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At least make sure they are 18
Why
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
