Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize