I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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