Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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