I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
