so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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