bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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