you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
