Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
