i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
