I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
