Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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