She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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