apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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